Helping Kids Keep Their Composure

Adeline REducational, KungFu4Kids, MarysvilleMartialArts, Parenting

Anger.  Frustration.  Rage.  Disappointment.  

Emotions that are normal and acceptable for every child to feel – and adults, too!  But have you wondered, “…is there a way to help my kid be in control of their words and actions that follow their big feelings?”  I am guessing that you would like them to learn not to yell at other people out of anger, not to hit their sibling out of rage, not to let unkind words burst from their mouths out of frustration.  


Children, teens, and adults alike struggle at one point or another to keep their composure.  Perhaps you’ve seen a coworker “lose their cool,” or your daughter scream at you, or someone blow up rudely on social media. More than likely, you’ve responded without composure, yourself.  

Why is composure important?  

When we react out of spontaneous emotion instead of careful thinking, it pushes people away.  Mostly, though, for children, it is not a habit that will serve them well throughout their life.  As they grow up, it is so important that they can communicate effectively, demonstrate patience, have understanding relationships, and act maturely.  I think it’s in their best interest to start learning this at a young age.  

In case you were wondering…yes, it IS possible to teach very young children composure!

Absolutely, we need to let them have their feelings. That is crucial; we must let our children know that we are NOT trying to stuff their feelings into a box or shove them away.  We are trying to help them learn that their feelings do not, and should not, dictate how they treat others.  

How do I help my child learn composure?  

First, help your child identify what they are feeling.  Teach them how to identify it on their own. Am I mad?  Am I sad?  Am I hurt?  

Second, help them to locate where they feel their specific emotion.  Am I breathing hard?  Are my hands clenched?  Is my body tense or shaking? 

Lastly, have them relax, calm down, take deep breaths.  Smell the flowers (inhale), blow out the candle (exhale).  Having this image, or any other image you come up with, is helpful in giving their brain something to focus on.  

A few simple ideas…

Suggest (as a question, not an order) to your child that they:

  1. Exercise
  2. Talk calmly about how they feel
  3. Give themself a hug 
  4. Ask for a hug
  5. Read a book
  6. Take deep breaths (like I mentioned earlier)

Did you know?

Many martial art classes for children focus on character development.  They support and inspire children to have patience, self-confidence, discipline, respect, and other personal skills.  Yep, composure, too.  

Can Kung Fu 4 Kids help my child learn composure?

YES!  Here’s how…

At Kung Fu 4 Kids, we place the highest focus on these character skills.  Sure, we teach martial arts, self-defense and other physical techniques all day long, but let’s be honest – what we truly care about is the confidence each child can build, the integrity they can learn to demonstrate, and the respectful regard for other people they can grow.  And those are just a few examples.   

We love getting to know each student and their needs.  We thrive on encouraging them.  At the same time, we tolerate VERY LITTLE disrespect or unkindness.  Upset outbursts are responded to patiently but firmly.  So don’t worry, composure is very important to us!  
Every class, we talk about a Powerful Word of the Month.  This is an interactive time for students to share their own thoughts and experiences.  At Marsyville Martial Arts, when parents choose to reinforce these words at home, we see awesome transformations in each student!